The SEXX Factor: Breaking the Unwritten Codes that Sabotage Personal and Professional Lives

The SeXX Factor: Breaking the Unwritten Codes that Sabotage Personal and Professional Lives, Marilou Ryder and Judith Briles, New Horizon Press, 2003

Based on interviews with thousands of men and women, this book explores attitudes and behaviors of women that cause men to get resentful or angry. Women therefore find themselves needlessly impeded in their daily lives.

If women want to be taken seriously at work, then how is the wearing of sexy and revealing clothing to work going to help? Most men are scared of a sexual harassment lawsuit, so women need to find a way to tell male co-workers that they will not be offended by compliments on a new suit or hairstyle. Talking too much can be deadly to one's chances for promotion. Before making an oral presentation in front of others, have a critical friend spot-check you. Be organized, don't waste time and stick to the point. Be more goal-oriented in the language that you use.

When dealing with office politics, create and maintain allies, and remember that friendship and friendliness are two very different things. If you are the victim of office sabotage, the most important thing to do is confront the saboteur. Otherwise, you are giving them a green light to continue. Do not confuse confidence with inflexibility or stubbornness; you do not have to win every time. Resist the temptation to cover your office wall with college diplomas, plaques and certificates. Have a male friend grade your handshake from "too limp" to "bonecrusher."

This is an excellent book. It doesn't ask to women to change who they are, but to realize that there are things women do every day that drive men nuts (not in a good way). Changing those behaviors will help women to prosper in their personal and professional lives. This book belongs on the reading list of every businesswoman in America.